KODACHROME

AT LAST I'M BACK! LIFE HAS BEEN FULL OF ARRANGING AND RE-ARRANGINE FOR SEVERAL WEEKS NOW, INTERDISPERSED WITH A FEW 60 ETC BIRTHDAY PARTIES AND THE FACT THAT IT HAS TAKEN ME ALL THIS TIME TO WORK OUT HOW TO GET TO MY OWN HOME PAGE. YES I IMAGINE THIS PROVIDES A GOOD LAUGH FOR ALL MY FOLLOWERS WHO ARE PRIMARILY A LOT YOUNGER THAN ME AND NOT LOST IN THE CYBER WILDERNESS THAT I AM USED TO.

I REALISE THAT MANY PEOPLE OUT THERE KNOW NOTHING OF MY LIFE, IT HONESTLY DOES NOT OCCURE TO ME THAT ANYONE WOULD BE INTERESTED IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT PEOPLE ASK ME ALL THE TIME TO TELL STORIES OF THE PAST AND SUGGEST THAT A BOOK IS ON THE CARDS. THE FACT IS I DO NOT GET STIMULATED TO SPEAK ALONE WITH A SCREEN IN FRONT OF ME...IT IS RATHER FOR ME THE MAGIC OF STORY TELLING IN THE FLESH THAT FILLS ME WITH THE DESIRE TO SPIN THE YARNS OF MANY YEARS AS AN ENABLER. MOST PEOPLE SEE ME AS A THERAPIST, I SUPPOSE THAT IS CORRECT ALTHOUGH MY WAY OF WORKING WITH PEOPLE BARES LITTLE RESEMBALANCE TO THE "NORM"

LOOKING BACK ON ALL MY YEARS I HAVE TO SAY THAT THE CONCEPT OF FAMILY WAS THE BIGGEST DRIVER FOR ME IN MY WORK...ENABLING PEOPLE TO WORK THROUGH ALL THEIR DOUBTS AND PAIN WITH THEIR OWN FAMILIES. BEING THERE WHEN THEY BEGAN TO UNDERSTAND THINGS FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE AND OF COURSE THE JOY WHEN FORGIVENESS AND UNDERSTANDING TOOK OVER AND FAMILIES WERE RE-UNITED. MY WORK HOWEVER, WAS ALSO ABOUT LEARNING TO MAKE FAMILY, WHAT WAS IMPORTANT IN THE LIFE OF TWO PEOPLE TOGETHER THAT CREATED MARRIAGE (in whatever form) AND THE RAISING OF CHILDREN. IT WAS AS IMPORTANT TO ME THAT FAMILIES COULD SHARE THEIR MEALS TOGETHER, BE HONEST WITH EACH OTHER, DRAW LINES THAT COULD NOT BE MOVED AS WELL AS LINES THAT HAD A FLEXABILITY WITH THE CHANGING YEARS. THAT KIDS COULD ALWAYS FIND THEIR WAY BACK HOME WHEN THEY GOT THEMSELVES INTO TROUBLE, THAT FROM THE BEGINNING PARENHOOD CARRIED GRAVE RESPONSABILITIES EVEN FOR THE SIMPLE MATTER OF DAY TO DAY LIFE. COOKING WITH LOVE, WAS AS IMPORTANT AS LISTENING TO EACH OTHERS MUSIC, UNDERSTANDING EACH OTHERS DIFFERENCES AND CELEBRATING THE VERY PRIVALAGE OF BEING FAMILY TOGETHER.

TODAY I SEE MUCH AROUND ME THAT CONFIRMS JUST HOW IMPORTANT IT ALL WAS...I RARELY EVER GO TO A PARTY THAT I DO NOT MEET THE CHILDREN OF MY OLD COLLEAGUES AND FRIENDS, PEOPLE THAT I MAYSELF WORKED WITH....SOME OFOUR KIDS AND GRANDKIDS HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR ALL OF THEIR LIVES. THEIR PARENTS HELPED EACH OTHER DURING THE YEARS THAT THEIR KIDS WERE YOUNG, SCHOOL RUNS...SPORTS ACTIVITIES, SLEEPOVER TO GIVE PARENTS SOME PRIVATE TIME...ROSTERS OF FRIENDS DOING MEALS WHEN SOMONE WAS ILL OR HAD JUST HAD ANOTHER BABY.

WE AS PARENTS CERTAINLY HAD OUR GOOD TIMES, OUR TIMES OF LETTING GO, BEING OUTRAGEOUS, COLOURING AND RECOLOURING OUR HAIR, CERTAINLY GOING OVER THE LIMIT OF "RED RED WINE" AND ALWAYS THERE WAS THE MUSIC AND THE DANCING. I HAVE DANCED ALL MY LIFE, AS A YOUNG WOMAN I DISCOVERED HOW MUCH PAIN AND STRESS COULD EVAPORATE WHEN ONE WAS MOVING TO GLEN MILLER...EVERY ERA HAD ITS MUSIC BUT TODAY I AM STILL DANCING TO NEIL DIAMOND, PAUL SIMON AND DIRE STRAITS...NOT ONLY WITH MY OLD FRIENDS BUT WITH THEIR CHILDREN WHO GREW UP WITH THE BEATLES ET AL. THESE KIDS KNOW EVERY BEAT OF ALL THOSE GREAT SONGS AND EVEN MORE REMARKABLE EVERY WORD AS WELL!

WHAT WAS THE MAGIC? WELL I BELIEVE THE VERY GLUE THAT KEPT US TOGETHER WAS IN THE GROUPS THAT ENABLED ALL OF US TO SPEAK FREELY, TO LET GO OF PENT UP EMOTIONS, TO RID OUSELVES OF STRESS THROUGH THE EXPRESSION OF THE SIMPLEST OF EELINGS, ANGER, FEAR, SORROW. I RECALL, STILL WITH A GIGGLE WHEN A FRIEND SAID TO ME AFTER A WEEKEND GROUP..."I HAVE CRIED MYSELF RIGHT BACK INTO THESE TROUSERS AND NOW I AM GOING TO EAT MYSELF BACK OUT OF THEM!

HOURS WERE SPENT ON THE PROBLEMS OF MARRIAGE AND CHILDREN AND EVERY ONE LEFT WITH A FEELING OF MORE CONFIDENCE TO GET THE JOB DONE AND MORE HOPE THAT ALL WOULD BE WELL...IN MOST CASES AS THE KIDS GREW FROM BABIES TO TEENS AND BEYOND THEY HAVE COME THROUGH IT ALL NOT ONLY AS SUCCESFUL ADULTS BUT AS ADULTS WHO OFTEN CLAIM THEIR PARENTS AS AMONG THEIR BEST FRIENDS....WHO LOVE AND CARE FOR EACH OTHER AS WE DID,,,RECENTLY DEAR FRIENDS OF MINE BECAME GRANDPARENTS, THEIR DAUGHTER GAVE BIRTH TO A BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL IN ITALY, HER FRIENDS, THOSE SHE HAS KNOWN INCE BABYHOOD GAVE HER A "BABY SHOWER" IT WAS PURE JOY TO SEE THESE YOUNG WOMEN PUTTING TOGETHER A BEAUTIFUL TABLE WITH WONDERFUL FOOD THEY THEMSELVES HAD PROVIDED INCLUDING HOME MADE SCONES AND CAKES THAT WERE DELICIOUS...FLOWERS EVERYWHERE AND MOST OF ALL SUCH LOVE THAT WENT INTO THE PLANNING. IN THAT SCENE WHICH OF COURSE ALL OF US OLD FOLKS WERE INVITED; AS WITH OUR KIDS AGE IS A MEANINGLESS IDEA...

THE YEARS OF OUR OWN EFFORTS WERE VISABLE. AS ALL THE YOUNG MEN ARRIVED TO SHARE THE DAY THE KINSHIP AMONGS ALL OF THEM DID FILL ME WITH TEARS OF JOY.

ANOTHER MOMENT THAT COMES TO MIND AS I WRITE WAS AT A RECENT 60TH BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR A DEAR FRIEND AND THE FATHER OF THREE OF THESE KIDS....THE WORDS SPOKEN BY ALL TOUCHED ALL THE RIGHT PLACES INSIDE. MAKE NO MISTAKE I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT SYRUPY OVER EMOTIONAL INDULGENCE,I AM SPEAKING ABOUT A GATHERING OF PEOPLE WHO ARE COMITTED TO SPEAKING THE TRUTH AND ALLOWING THEIR FEELINGS TO BE HEARD. LATER AS WE ONCE AGAIN ALL DANCED TOGETHER THIS TRADITIONSPANNING NOW THREE GENERATIONS I SAW MY GRANDSON DANCING WITH THE MOTHER OF ONE OF HIS BEST FRIENDS...HE SWUNG HER ROUND THE FLOOR AS THOUGH SHE WEREONCE AGAIN A YOUNG WOMAN AND IN THAT MAGIC SHE BECAME THAT YOUNG WOMAN I REMEMBER FROM SO MANY YEARS BACK.

OFTEN ALL THESE KIDS COME TO MY HOME IN THE SUN, SOMETIMES WITH THEIR PARENTS AND SOMETIMES JUST TOGETHER AS THE ADULTS THEY NOW ARE...IN THE NIGHT, OFTEN UNDER THE SUMMER STARS WE TALK AND SHARE STORIES, THEY LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT WHEN THEIR PARENTS WERE YOUNG AND ILOVE TO TELL EACH STORY WITH THE RESPECT AND LOVE I FEEL FOR THESE REMARKABLE PARENTS.

JUST THE OTHER DAY A FRIEND AND I WERE SHARING OLD MEMORIES, I ASKED ME "DO YOU THINK IT REALLY WAS A REMAKABLE ERA OF MAGIC OR WAS IT KODA CHROME (referring to Paul Simon's song...you know..everything looks good in black and white)

NO, I ANSWERED WITH PURE CONVICTION, IT WAS NOT KODACHROME....IT WAS THE ACTIONS OF LOVE STREAMING THROUGH GENERATIONS....WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO ENLIGHTENMENT AND SELF AWARENESS, WHICH I MYSELF BELIEVE IN....IT IS EMPTY WITHOUT SUNDAY DINNERS, HEARING EACH OTHERS MUSIC AND CARING THAT EXTENDS BEYOND THE EXPECTATION OF REWARDS