why not stay at home a little longer?

This is a very exciting time for those of us who are grandparents! All these great kids we've known since thy were babies are now starting families. OK not all of them but certainly the first crop. It got me thinking about some of the issues were faced with today that have to do with parenting, modern teen-agers and the style of life that seems to be in many cases so different from what used to happen when marriage and kids were the most important thing in ones life. I often hear young women today as they are planning their family say," I will take three weeks or a month leave from work after the baby is born." Can you do that? Can you really make a choice for career or income over being at home with your children until they start kindergarten? I do not know about the modern day finance of a young family, but I sure do know that when my kids were young we were always broke.

Yes it is tough! it was tough then as well. Remember we had no computers or electronic equipment that made it possible to do so many jobs at home. Most of us were one car families, the Independence of two cars was unthinkable. As were housekeepers, catered food and dog walkers. Yep I know what your thinking and you are right! those jobs were what women used to do. Now it is time for me to make one thing perfectly clear, I am a very independent woman! I think and act for myself....have my own opinions and have earned my own success.

Still I believe with all that is wisdom in me that most of the major issues that harm families today have to do with a mind set in parents that often does not include the often boring responsibility of staying at home with young kids. Do I think the fathers can do this as well as mothers, in most cases, yes! I do not believe it is a gender thing who is at home with the kids, I believe it is a parenting thing! or perhaps a grand parenting thing in today's world.

That little kids spend their days for the most part with their own family does make a difference, it just has to....they are then always with those who love them and can give them the basic foundation for standing firmly on their own feet in the years to come.

No, I am not an expert, but this is my blog so therefore it gives me the right to speak without being an expert...but rather from the place in me that believes that babies and kids have rights...part of those rights include the chance to grow up strong, secure and with a feeling of knowing who they are from the first!

Yes I do understand that money is a big issue, I promise you it was when I was raising kids as well....as I have already said, we were always broke, me and my friends, we saved small change to buy a new pair of jeans. One of the joys of life was pinching a few bucks from the grocery money because you had thought of some wonderful meal that allowed you to spend a bit less.

My most creative moments in those years were about shopping and preparing food. Discovering all kinds of things to do with fresh vegetables, creating exotic meals with very little meat and the discovering that not only was it more economical to create all that stuff but that it was actually a whole lot better for your health.

Getting used to living on the earth is no easy task, everything is strange, noises...people...sights..colours...sitting, standing and walking, chewing (wait till they have their first piece of gum...sugarless!) The world needs to widen gradually for kids...a bit at a time...I kept mine indoors except for a walk until they were three month old. Just to give them a chance to venture out gradually....I tried to keep them to an "nonrigid" schedule, flexible enough but also with the security of eating baths and naps around the same time every day....my youngest was the only one who went to nursery school....he did that for about three months and then one day he burst into my room, jumped on the bed and with all seriousness in those big brown eyes he said to me "I go to school....and I go to school..and I go to school..and now NO MORE.

I knew he was right and that was the last of nursery school for him, getting someone in to take care of him was really tough....I changed my schedule until I had things in hand as one disaster was enough for me, and my first try at a sitter was in fact a disaster.

My hope is that many of you out there will think long and hard, try to find alternative choices for those years when it is so important for little ones to be home with their family. Allow yourself the experience of long term thinking, see if you can visualise the years in front of you, being there for the school plays, picnics, football games...dinner at home every night with Mom and Dad together...that each busy day may hold at its end the chance for sharing, learning about each other and enjoying the ritual of dinner together....in the end it pays off for everyone...I can still visualise my three boys sitting down to dinner every night....hungry for a good meal and happy to be together talking about our day...there is plenty of time for the Internet, television and all the rest even work....but time not spent with your kids can never be replaced.

Gram