Recently I have been researching the top ten songs or albums on the charts since the early 1930's. It is fascinating to go through the years, assuming your old enough or know your music, and see how musical history unfolded. The absence of many black artists in the early days as they rarely got a chance to record until the days of the brilliant Barry Gordy and his "Motown" sound. For those of you who do not know the name Motown derives from the words motor town, which Detroit is know for. It says a lot about the success of Gordy when most people know Detroit today as MOTOWN rather than the home of the auto manufacturing business.
The top ten takes us through the many changes in the music industry but also gives us an idea of how we danced and how we fell in love. Way back when dance floors were huge, when the beautifully colourful juke box gave out swing, jitterbug, and the ever romantic two step...when kids danced the night away using the back beat to free the body for movement that came from within....not contrived, but the pure pleasure of physical movement to great rhythm. Then came the power of Rock and Roll....equally as freeing as it somehow reached even deeper parts of ones soul or psyche and yes aided by a new phenomenon....drugs. To be fair we had are booze but from where I came from, we new nothing of drugs until the 60's. Not to say they were not around, just not so around as they later became. From swing to rock and roll some of the greatest modern music was produced....Lennon and McCartney, as composers have been compared with the genius of Mozart.....in that the creating of a song was as serious and intense for them as it was for "Wolfgang" This could most certainly be said for many of the great songwriters of that era, Joni Mitchell, Paul Simon, Neil Diamond and so on. Like the great classics, these songwriters will be listened to for generations to come, their lyrics will continue to give food for thought, their arrangements and the purity of voice will never fail to move or excite the soul. As I moved along through the decades I came eventually to the 80's when the search for choice of good stuff became somewhat more barren....By the time I reached the 90's and the first ten years of the new millennium I found myself indeed in a barren wasteland.
My youngest son knows his music like few others, he has brought me to "Chiciane" and a few others that still retain the richness of a good sound...but for the most part...it's a bust! If you disagree, I welcome your comments for the purpose of dialogue and my education, but please spare me the overdone concept that those of us who are over 40 do not understand...Indeed young ones, we do get it! So if you have any suggestions that can equal some of the above mentioned I welcome them. If not, give yourself a real treat....instead of spending all your time on face book....get into I tunes and go back over the years for some of the most enjoyable sounds you will ever hope to hear.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
new wives tales, IE modern mythology
today one hears so much about the natural look for women as it seems to be quite trendy. I must say this sort of stuff gets me thinking about the logic or "sense" behind it. History tells us something very different about what is natural to women. In Egypt for example back in the days of Cleopatra women would gather flowers and plants, dry the, and grind them with mortar and pestle just to get the colours they desired for their eyes,cheeks and mouth....Indian women did likewise and Africans used natural plants to make incredible designs adorning both face and body. One cannot help but ask, where did you get the idea that a paint less female was natural? What is natural to a woman is to create, women are born to create, adorn and enjoy the richness of the ritual. For me there is nothing more un-natural than a woman void of the art her face can enjoy...of the blandness of plain fingernails and especially toenails...many women today go around looking like medical specimens that belong in an anatomy laboratory. HOW SAD, I am so grateful that i come from the "cherry red lips" generation that were free to enjoy every aspect of the pleasures of being a woman. If our equality with men means that we are expected to belittle the joys of Estee Lauder and Max Factor then for this old lady....I PASS!
Friday, July 16, 2010
VIVA ESPANA
WELL THE WORLD CUP HAS COME AND GONE...FOR MANY A DISAPPOINTMENT GROWING BIGGER AS THE DAYS PAST. SOME OF YOU MAY THINK ME QUITE AUDACIOUS TO BE SOUNDING OFF ON A GAME I'VE NEVER PLAYED, SORRY FOLKS THAT'S ONE OF THE WONDERS OF AGE, YOU HIT A PINT WHEN YOU JUST DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT OTHERS THINK FREEING YOU TO SOUND OFF ABOUT ALL IN SUNDRY. A WARNING, I STILL HAVE NOT LEARNED HOW TO USE THE SPELL CHECK!
CAPPELLO MADE HIS FATAL MISTAKE THE DAY HE CHOSE TO DEMOTE JOHN TERRY! FOLLOWING THE DICTATES OF THE "SUITS" WHO RUN EVERYTHING FROM CORPORATES LIKE "BP" TO THE WHOLE OF THE MUSIC INDUSTRY. WHY DO WE LET THIS KIND OF POWER INFEST OUR DEAREST PLEASURE ACTIVITIES??? THE TEAM WAS HAPPY WITH TERRY, THE FANS WERE HAPPY WITH TERRY, YES WE ALL KNOW HE MADE A VERY STUPID MISTAKE BUT HEY, TIGER WOODS IS STILL PLAYING AT THE TOP OF HIS GAME.
THE POINT IS THAT NONE OF US HAVE THE RIGHT TO JUDGE OTHERS SHORTCOMINGS WHETHER OR NOT THEY ARE FAMOUS...WE ARE THERE TO ENJOY WHAT SPORT BRINGS US AND IF YOUR THINKING THAT ALL SPORTSMEN SHOULD BE A SHINING EXAMPLE TO ALL KIDS....MANY OF WHOM ASPIRE TO PARTICIPATE SOME DAY IN A ROCK BAND, AN OSCAR WINNING FILM OR THE BEAUTIFUL GAME, PLEASE! LETS THINK AGAIN.
HOW ABOUT PARENTS THAT CAN ENTER INTO A DIALOGUE WITH THEIR KIDS BEGINNING WITH THE SIMPLE FACT THAT FAME AND MONEY CAN CAUSE THE BEST OF US TO SHOOT OURSELVES IN THE FOOT. CAPPELLO SHOULD HAVE STOOD BY HIS MAN AND HIS TEAM. WHILE STEVIE G IS A GREAT LITTLE PLAYER HE IS NO CAPTAIN AND I WOULD GUESS THAT NO-ONE KNOWS THAT BETTER THAN HE HIMSELF.
FURTHER WHAT HAS TERRY'S DUMB MISTAKE GOT TO DO WITH HIS LOYALTY OR SKILLS AS THE ENGLAND CAPTAIN. SO, ENGLAND DID NOT PLAY THEIR HEARTS OUT AND WE ALL KNEW IT EARLY ON. FOLLOWED BY PORTUGAL WHO HAS PROBABLY THE VERY BEST STRIKER IN THE GAME....BUT THE MANAGER DECIDED TO PLAY NOTHING BUT DEFENSIVE BALL THROUGHOUT! I CAN SEE WISDOM IN THE STRATEGY OF GETTING THE TEAM CAREFULLY TO THE QUARTER FINALS...THEN! FOR HEAVENS SAKE USE RONALDO AS HE WAS BORN TO BE USED!
FINALLY ON THE DAY, OF COURSE THOSE OF US WHO BOAST MANY DUTCH FRIENDS WANTED TO SEE HOLLAND AT THEIR BEST...WIN OR LOSE AT THEIR BEST! IN THE END I FOR ONE HAD TO ADMIT THAT SPAIN DESERVED ITS GLORY AND GAVE US A MATCH THAT WE COULD ALL BE EXCITED ABOUT.
AM I JUST A GRUMPY OLD LADY? OR IS THEIR WISDOM IN BELIEVING THAT MANY OF THE MANAGERS MADE HORRIFIC DECISIONS THAT TAINTED THE GAMES...ALL THAT CAREFUL MANEUVERING GOT US ALL NOWHERE...
FOR ME THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE TOURNAMENT WAS FIRST SEEING THE QUEEN OF SPAIN ATTENDING EACH MATCH! EXCUSE ME ELIZABETH BUT WHERE WERE YOU...THE ENGLISH, SOME OF THEM, WILL ARGUE THAT THEIR QUEEN IS NOT A QUEEN OF THE PEOPLE...AS AN AMERICAN WHO DOES NOT QUITE GET ALL THIS ROYALTY STUFF AND WOULD NOT BE PRONE TO CURTSY TO ANYONE BUT MY OWN MOTHER, I DON'T SEE THE RELEVANCE OF A QUEEN WHO IS NOT "OF THE PEOPLE" SPANISH ROYALTY ENGAGES WITH ITS PEOPLE IN WAYS THAT COUNT! I WILL NOT FORGET WATCHING THE CEREMONY FOR THE DEAD AFTER THE TERRORIST BOMBINGS IN SPAIN...WHEN THE QUEEN, FULLY PRESENT ALLOWED HERSELF TO BE EMBRACED BY SOME OF THE GRIEVING RELATIVES WHO HAD LOST FAMILY ON THE TERRIBLE DAY.
ONCE AGAIN THERE SHE WAS! WHEN SPAIN SCORED THEIR QUEEN JUMPED UP AND ARMS FLYING CHEERED FOR HER COUNTRY....WHAT A LADY! SHE MAKES SENSE OF A TRADITION THAT IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU HAVE NOT GROWN UP TO BELIEVE THAT ANOTHER HUMAN BEING IS CARRYING SOMETHING IN THEIR BLOOD THAT YOU NEED TO BOW TO!
I HOPE TO BE AROUND LONG ENOUGH TO SEE THE RETURN OF GUTSY MANAGERS AND ROYALTY THAT KNOWS HOW TO EMBRACE GRATITUDE TO THE VERY PEOPLE WHO KEEP THEM ON THEIR THRONES!!!
MEANWHIL, VIVA ESPANA, VIVA FOOTBALL
WELL THE WORLD CUP HAS COME AND GONE...FOR MANY A DISAPPOINTMENT GROWING BIGGER AS THE DAYS PAST. SOME OF YOU MAY THINK ME QUITE AUDACIOUS TO BE SOUNDING OFF ON A GAME I'VE NEVER PLAYED, SORRY FOLKS THAT'S ONE OF THE WONDERS OF AGE, YOU HIT A PINT WHEN YOU JUST DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT OTHERS THINK FREEING YOU TO SOUND OFF ABOUT ALL IN SUNDRY. A WARNING, I STILL HAVE NOT LEARNED HOW TO USE THE SPELL CHECK!
CAPPELLO MADE HIS FATAL MISTAKE THE DAY HE CHOSE TO DEMOTE JOHN TERRY! FOLLOWING THE DICTATES OF THE "SUITS" WHO RUN EVERYTHING FROM CORPORATES LIKE "BP" TO THE WHOLE OF THE MUSIC INDUSTRY. WHY DO WE LET THIS KIND OF POWER INFEST OUR DEAREST PLEASURE ACTIVITIES??? THE TEAM WAS HAPPY WITH TERRY, THE FANS WERE HAPPY WITH TERRY, YES WE ALL KNOW HE MADE A VERY STUPID MISTAKE BUT HEY, TIGER WOODS IS STILL PLAYING AT THE TOP OF HIS GAME.
THE POINT IS THAT NONE OF US HAVE THE RIGHT TO JUDGE OTHERS SHORTCOMINGS WHETHER OR NOT THEY ARE FAMOUS...WE ARE THERE TO ENJOY WHAT SPORT BRINGS US AND IF YOUR THINKING THAT ALL SPORTSMEN SHOULD BE A SHINING EXAMPLE TO ALL KIDS....MANY OF WHOM ASPIRE TO PARTICIPATE SOME DAY IN A ROCK BAND, AN OSCAR WINNING FILM OR THE BEAUTIFUL GAME, PLEASE! LETS THINK AGAIN.
HOW ABOUT PARENTS THAT CAN ENTER INTO A DIALOGUE WITH THEIR KIDS BEGINNING WITH THE SIMPLE FACT THAT FAME AND MONEY CAN CAUSE THE BEST OF US TO SHOOT OURSELVES IN THE FOOT. CAPPELLO SHOULD HAVE STOOD BY HIS MAN AND HIS TEAM. WHILE STEVIE G IS A GREAT LITTLE PLAYER HE IS NO CAPTAIN AND I WOULD GUESS THAT NO-ONE KNOWS THAT BETTER THAN HE HIMSELF.
FURTHER WHAT HAS TERRY'S DUMB MISTAKE GOT TO DO WITH HIS LOYALTY OR SKILLS AS THE ENGLAND CAPTAIN. SO, ENGLAND DID NOT PLAY THEIR HEARTS OUT AND WE ALL KNEW IT EARLY ON. FOLLOWED BY PORTUGAL WHO HAS PROBABLY THE VERY BEST STRIKER IN THE GAME....BUT THE MANAGER DECIDED TO PLAY NOTHING BUT DEFENSIVE BALL THROUGHOUT! I CAN SEE WISDOM IN THE STRATEGY OF GETTING THE TEAM CAREFULLY TO THE QUARTER FINALS...THEN! FOR HEAVENS SAKE USE RONALDO AS HE WAS BORN TO BE USED!
FINALLY ON THE DAY, OF COURSE THOSE OF US WHO BOAST MANY DUTCH FRIENDS WANTED TO SEE HOLLAND AT THEIR BEST...WIN OR LOSE AT THEIR BEST! IN THE END I FOR ONE HAD TO ADMIT THAT SPAIN DESERVED ITS GLORY AND GAVE US A MATCH THAT WE COULD ALL BE EXCITED ABOUT.
AM I JUST A GRUMPY OLD LADY? OR IS THEIR WISDOM IN BELIEVING THAT MANY OF THE MANAGERS MADE HORRIFIC DECISIONS THAT TAINTED THE GAMES...ALL THAT CAREFUL MANEUVERING GOT US ALL NOWHERE...
FOR ME THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE TOURNAMENT WAS FIRST SEEING THE QUEEN OF SPAIN ATTENDING EACH MATCH! EXCUSE ME ELIZABETH BUT WHERE WERE YOU...THE ENGLISH, SOME OF THEM, WILL ARGUE THAT THEIR QUEEN IS NOT A QUEEN OF THE PEOPLE...AS AN AMERICAN WHO DOES NOT QUITE GET ALL THIS ROYALTY STUFF AND WOULD NOT BE PRONE TO CURTSY TO ANYONE BUT MY OWN MOTHER, I DON'T SEE THE RELEVANCE OF A QUEEN WHO IS NOT "OF THE PEOPLE" SPANISH ROYALTY ENGAGES WITH ITS PEOPLE IN WAYS THAT COUNT! I WILL NOT FORGET WATCHING THE CEREMONY FOR THE DEAD AFTER THE TERRORIST BOMBINGS IN SPAIN...WHEN THE QUEEN, FULLY PRESENT ALLOWED HERSELF TO BE EMBRACED BY SOME OF THE GRIEVING RELATIVES WHO HAD LOST FAMILY ON THE TERRIBLE DAY.
ONCE AGAIN THERE SHE WAS! WHEN SPAIN SCORED THEIR QUEEN JUMPED UP AND ARMS FLYING CHEERED FOR HER COUNTRY....WHAT A LADY! SHE MAKES SENSE OF A TRADITION THAT IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU HAVE NOT GROWN UP TO BELIEVE THAT ANOTHER HUMAN BEING IS CARRYING SOMETHING IN THEIR BLOOD THAT YOU NEED TO BOW TO!
I HOPE TO BE AROUND LONG ENOUGH TO SEE THE RETURN OF GUTSY MANAGERS AND ROYALTY THAT KNOWS HOW TO EMBRACE GRATITUDE TO THE VERY PEOPLE WHO KEEP THEM ON THEIR THRONES!!!
MEANWHIL, VIVA ESPANA, VIVA FOOTBALL
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
KODACHROME
AT LAST I'M BACK! LIFE HAS BEEN FULL OF ARRANGING AND RE-ARRANGINE FOR SEVERAL WEEKS NOW, INTERDISPERSED WITH A FEW 60 ETC BIRTHDAY PARTIES AND THE FACT THAT IT HAS TAKEN ME ALL THIS TIME TO WORK OUT HOW TO GET TO MY OWN HOME PAGE. YES I IMAGINE THIS PROVIDES A GOOD LAUGH FOR ALL MY FOLLOWERS WHO ARE PRIMARILY A LOT YOUNGER THAN ME AND NOT LOST IN THE CYBER WILDERNESS THAT I AM USED TO.
I REALISE THAT MANY PEOPLE OUT THERE KNOW NOTHING OF MY LIFE, IT HONESTLY DOES NOT OCCURE TO ME THAT ANYONE WOULD BE INTERESTED IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT PEOPLE ASK ME ALL THE TIME TO TELL STORIES OF THE PAST AND SUGGEST THAT A BOOK IS ON THE CARDS. THE FACT IS I DO NOT GET STIMULATED TO SPEAK ALONE WITH A SCREEN IN FRONT OF ME...IT IS RATHER FOR ME THE MAGIC OF STORY TELLING IN THE FLESH THAT FILLS ME WITH THE DESIRE TO SPIN THE YARNS OF MANY YEARS AS AN ENABLER. MOST PEOPLE SEE ME AS A THERAPIST, I SUPPOSE THAT IS CORRECT ALTHOUGH MY WAY OF WORKING WITH PEOPLE BARES LITTLE RESEMBALANCE TO THE "NORM"
LOOKING BACK ON ALL MY YEARS I HAVE TO SAY THAT THE CONCEPT OF FAMILY WAS THE BIGGEST DRIVER FOR ME IN MY WORK...ENABLING PEOPLE TO WORK THROUGH ALL THEIR DOUBTS AND PAIN WITH THEIR OWN FAMILIES. BEING THERE WHEN THEY BEGAN TO UNDERSTAND THINGS FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE AND OF COURSE THE JOY WHEN FORGIVENESS AND UNDERSTANDING TOOK OVER AND FAMILIES WERE RE-UNITED. MY WORK HOWEVER, WAS ALSO ABOUT LEARNING TO MAKE FAMILY, WHAT WAS IMPORTANT IN THE LIFE OF TWO PEOPLE TOGETHER THAT CREATED MARRIAGE (in whatever form) AND THE RAISING OF CHILDREN. IT WAS AS IMPORTANT TO ME THAT FAMILIES COULD SHARE THEIR MEALS TOGETHER, BE HONEST WITH EACH OTHER, DRAW LINES THAT COULD NOT BE MOVED AS WELL AS LINES THAT HAD A FLEXABILITY WITH THE CHANGING YEARS. THAT KIDS COULD ALWAYS FIND THEIR WAY BACK HOME WHEN THEY GOT THEMSELVES INTO TROUBLE, THAT FROM THE BEGINNING PARENHOOD CARRIED GRAVE RESPONSABILITIES EVEN FOR THE SIMPLE MATTER OF DAY TO DAY LIFE. COOKING WITH LOVE, WAS AS IMPORTANT AS LISTENING TO EACH OTHERS MUSIC, UNDERSTANDING EACH OTHERS DIFFERENCES AND CELEBRATING THE VERY PRIVALAGE OF BEING FAMILY TOGETHER.
TODAY I SEE MUCH AROUND ME THAT CONFIRMS JUST HOW IMPORTANT IT ALL WAS...I RARELY EVER GO TO A PARTY THAT I DO NOT MEET THE CHILDREN OF MY OLD COLLEAGUES AND FRIENDS, PEOPLE THAT I MAYSELF WORKED WITH....SOME OFOUR KIDS AND GRANDKIDS HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR ALL OF THEIR LIVES. THEIR PARENTS HELPED EACH OTHER DURING THE YEARS THAT THEIR KIDS WERE YOUNG, SCHOOL RUNS...SPORTS ACTIVITIES, SLEEPOVER TO GIVE PARENTS SOME PRIVATE TIME...ROSTERS OF FRIENDS DOING MEALS WHEN SOMONE WAS ILL OR HAD JUST HAD ANOTHER BABY.
WE AS PARENTS CERTAINLY HAD OUR GOOD TIMES, OUR TIMES OF LETTING GO, BEING OUTRAGEOUS, COLOURING AND RECOLOURING OUR HAIR, CERTAINLY GOING OVER THE LIMIT OF "RED RED WINE" AND ALWAYS THERE WAS THE MUSIC AND THE DANCING. I HAVE DANCED ALL MY LIFE, AS A YOUNG WOMAN I DISCOVERED HOW MUCH PAIN AND STRESS COULD EVAPORATE WHEN ONE WAS MOVING TO GLEN MILLER...EVERY ERA HAD ITS MUSIC BUT TODAY I AM STILL DANCING TO NEIL DIAMOND, PAUL SIMON AND DIRE STRAITS...NOT ONLY WITH MY OLD FRIENDS BUT WITH THEIR CHILDREN WHO GREW UP WITH THE BEATLES ET AL. THESE KIDS KNOW EVERY BEAT OF ALL THOSE GREAT SONGS AND EVEN MORE REMARKABLE EVERY WORD AS WELL!
WHAT WAS THE MAGIC? WELL I BELIEVE THE VERY GLUE THAT KEPT US TOGETHER WAS IN THE GROUPS THAT ENABLED ALL OF US TO SPEAK FREELY, TO LET GO OF PENT UP EMOTIONS, TO RID OUSELVES OF STRESS THROUGH THE EXPRESSION OF THE SIMPLEST OF EELINGS, ANGER, FEAR, SORROW. I RECALL, STILL WITH A GIGGLE WHEN A FRIEND SAID TO ME AFTER A WEEKEND GROUP..."I HAVE CRIED MYSELF RIGHT BACK INTO THESE TROUSERS AND NOW I AM GOING TO EAT MYSELF BACK OUT OF THEM!
HOURS WERE SPENT ON THE PROBLEMS OF MARRIAGE AND CHILDREN AND EVERY ONE LEFT WITH A FEELING OF MORE CONFIDENCE TO GET THE JOB DONE AND MORE HOPE THAT ALL WOULD BE WELL...IN MOST CASES AS THE KIDS GREW FROM BABIES TO TEENS AND BEYOND THEY HAVE COME THROUGH IT ALL NOT ONLY AS SUCCESFUL ADULTS BUT AS ADULTS WHO OFTEN CLAIM THEIR PARENTS AS AMONG THEIR BEST FRIENDS....WHO LOVE AND CARE FOR EACH OTHER AS WE DID,,,RECENTLY DEAR FRIENDS OF MINE BECAME GRANDPARENTS, THEIR DAUGHTER GAVE BIRTH TO A BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL IN ITALY, HER FRIENDS, THOSE SHE HAS KNOWN INCE BABYHOOD GAVE HER A "BABY SHOWER" IT WAS PURE JOY TO SEE THESE YOUNG WOMEN PUTTING TOGETHER A BEAUTIFUL TABLE WITH WONDERFUL FOOD THEY THEMSELVES HAD PROVIDED INCLUDING HOME MADE SCONES AND CAKES THAT WERE DELICIOUS...FLOWERS EVERYWHERE AND MOST OF ALL SUCH LOVE THAT WENT INTO THE PLANNING. IN THAT SCENE WHICH OF COURSE ALL OF US OLD FOLKS WERE INVITED; AS WITH OUR KIDS AGE IS A MEANINGLESS IDEA...
THE YEARS OF OUR OWN EFFORTS WERE VISABLE. AS ALL THE YOUNG MEN ARRIVED TO SHARE THE DAY THE KINSHIP AMONGS ALL OF THEM DID FILL ME WITH TEARS OF JOY.
ANOTHER MOMENT THAT COMES TO MIND AS I WRITE WAS AT A RECENT 60TH BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR A DEAR FRIEND AND THE FATHER OF THREE OF THESE KIDS....THE WORDS SPOKEN BY ALL TOUCHED ALL THE RIGHT PLACES INSIDE. MAKE NO MISTAKE I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT SYRUPY OVER EMOTIONAL INDULGENCE,I AM SPEAKING ABOUT A GATHERING OF PEOPLE WHO ARE COMITTED TO SPEAKING THE TRUTH AND ALLOWING THEIR FEELINGS TO BE HEARD. LATER AS WE ONCE AGAIN ALL DANCED TOGETHER THIS TRADITIONSPANNING NOW THREE GENERATIONS I SAW MY GRANDSON DANCING WITH THE MOTHER OF ONE OF HIS BEST FRIENDS...HE SWUNG HER ROUND THE FLOOR AS THOUGH SHE WEREONCE AGAIN A YOUNG WOMAN AND IN THAT MAGIC SHE BECAME THAT YOUNG WOMAN I REMEMBER FROM SO MANY YEARS BACK.
OFTEN ALL THESE KIDS COME TO MY HOME IN THE SUN, SOMETIMES WITH THEIR PARENTS AND SOMETIMES JUST TOGETHER AS THE ADULTS THEY NOW ARE...IN THE NIGHT, OFTEN UNDER THE SUMMER STARS WE TALK AND SHARE STORIES, THEY LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT WHEN THEIR PARENTS WERE YOUNG AND ILOVE TO TELL EACH STORY WITH THE RESPECT AND LOVE I FEEL FOR THESE REMARKABLE PARENTS.
JUST THE OTHER DAY A FRIEND AND I WERE SHARING OLD MEMORIES, I ASKED ME "DO YOU THINK IT REALLY WAS A REMAKABLE ERA OF MAGIC OR WAS IT KODA CHROME (referring to Paul Simon's song...you know..everything looks good in black and white)
NO, I ANSWERED WITH PURE CONVICTION, IT WAS NOT KODACHROME....IT WAS THE ACTIONS OF LOVE STREAMING THROUGH GENERATIONS....WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO ENLIGHTENMENT AND SELF AWARENESS, WHICH I MYSELF BELIEVE IN....IT IS EMPTY WITHOUT SUNDAY DINNERS, HEARING EACH OTHERS MUSIC AND CARING THAT EXTENDS BEYOND THE EXPECTATION OF REWARDS
Saturday, May 1, 2010
why not stay at home a little longer?
This is a very exciting time for those of us who are grandparents! All these great kids we've known since thy were babies are now starting families. OK not all of them but certainly the first crop. It got me thinking about some of the issues were faced with today that have to do with parenting, modern teen-agers and the style of life that seems to be in many cases so different from what used to happen when marriage and kids were the most important thing in ones life. I often hear young women today as they are planning their family say," I will take three weeks or a month leave from work after the baby is born." Can you do that? Can you really make a choice for career or income over being at home with your children until they start kindergarten? I do not know about the modern day finance of a young family, but I sure do know that when my kids were young we were always broke.
Yes it is tough! it was tough then as well. Remember we had no computers or electronic equipment that made it possible to do so many jobs at home. Most of us were one car families, the Independence of two cars was unthinkable. As were housekeepers, catered food and dog walkers. Yep I know what your thinking and you are right! those jobs were what women used to do. Now it is time for me to make one thing perfectly clear, I am a very independent woman! I think and act for myself....have my own opinions and have earned my own success.
Still I believe with all that is wisdom in me that most of the major issues that harm families today have to do with a mind set in parents that often does not include the often boring responsibility of staying at home with young kids. Do I think the fathers can do this as well as mothers, in most cases, yes! I do not believe it is a gender thing who is at home with the kids, I believe it is a parenting thing! or perhaps a grand parenting thing in today's world.
That little kids spend their days for the most part with their own family does make a difference, it just has to....they are then always with those who love them and can give them the basic foundation for standing firmly on their own feet in the years to come.
No, I am not an expert, but this is my blog so therefore it gives me the right to speak without being an expert...but rather from the place in me that believes that babies and kids have rights...part of those rights include the chance to grow up strong, secure and with a feeling of knowing who they are from the first!
Yes I do understand that money is a big issue, I promise you it was when I was raising kids as well....as I have already said, we were always broke, me and my friends, we saved small change to buy a new pair of jeans. One of the joys of life was pinching a few bucks from the grocery money because you had thought of some wonderful meal that allowed you to spend a bit less.
My most creative moments in those years were about shopping and preparing food. Discovering all kinds of things to do with fresh vegetables, creating exotic meals with very little meat and the discovering that not only was it more economical to create all that stuff but that it was actually a whole lot better for your health.
Getting used to living on the earth is no easy task, everything is strange, noises...people...sights..colours...sitting, standing and walking, chewing (wait till they have their first piece of gum...sugarless!) The world needs to widen gradually for kids...a bit at a time...I kept mine indoors except for a walk until they were three month old. Just to give them a chance to venture out gradually....I tried to keep them to an "nonrigid" schedule, flexible enough but also with the security of eating baths and naps around the same time every day....my youngest was the only one who went to nursery school....he did that for about three months and then one day he burst into my room, jumped on the bed and with all seriousness in those big brown eyes he said to me "I go to school....and I go to school..and I go to school..and now NO MORE.
I knew he was right and that was the last of nursery school for him, getting someone in to take care of him was really tough....I changed my schedule until I had things in hand as one disaster was enough for me, and my first try at a sitter was in fact a disaster.
My hope is that many of you out there will think long and hard, try to find alternative choices for those years when it is so important for little ones to be home with their family. Allow yourself the experience of long term thinking, see if you can visualise the years in front of you, being there for the school plays, picnics, football games...dinner at home every night with Mom and Dad together...that each busy day may hold at its end the chance for sharing, learning about each other and enjoying the ritual of dinner together....in the end it pays off for everyone...I can still visualise my three boys sitting down to dinner every night....hungry for a good meal and happy to be together talking about our day...there is plenty of time for the Internet, television and all the rest even work....but time not spent with your kids can never be replaced.
Gram
Yes it is tough! it was tough then as well. Remember we had no computers or electronic equipment that made it possible to do so many jobs at home. Most of us were one car families, the Independence of two cars was unthinkable. As were housekeepers, catered food and dog walkers. Yep I know what your thinking and you are right! those jobs were what women used to do. Now it is time for me to make one thing perfectly clear, I am a very independent woman! I think and act for myself....have my own opinions and have earned my own success.
Still I believe with all that is wisdom in me that most of the major issues that harm families today have to do with a mind set in parents that often does not include the often boring responsibility of staying at home with young kids. Do I think the fathers can do this as well as mothers, in most cases, yes! I do not believe it is a gender thing who is at home with the kids, I believe it is a parenting thing! or perhaps a grand parenting thing in today's world.
That little kids spend their days for the most part with their own family does make a difference, it just has to....they are then always with those who love them and can give them the basic foundation for standing firmly on their own feet in the years to come.
No, I am not an expert, but this is my blog so therefore it gives me the right to speak without being an expert...but rather from the place in me that believes that babies and kids have rights...part of those rights include the chance to grow up strong, secure and with a feeling of knowing who they are from the first!
Yes I do understand that money is a big issue, I promise you it was when I was raising kids as well....as I have already said, we were always broke, me and my friends, we saved small change to buy a new pair of jeans. One of the joys of life was pinching a few bucks from the grocery money because you had thought of some wonderful meal that allowed you to spend a bit less.
My most creative moments in those years were about shopping and preparing food. Discovering all kinds of things to do with fresh vegetables, creating exotic meals with very little meat and the discovering that not only was it more economical to create all that stuff but that it was actually a whole lot better for your health.
Getting used to living on the earth is no easy task, everything is strange, noises...people...sights..colours...sitting, standing and walking, chewing (wait till they have their first piece of gum...sugarless!) The world needs to widen gradually for kids...a bit at a time...I kept mine indoors except for a walk until they were three month old. Just to give them a chance to venture out gradually....I tried to keep them to an "nonrigid" schedule, flexible enough but also with the security of eating baths and naps around the same time every day....my youngest was the only one who went to nursery school....he did that for about three months and then one day he burst into my room, jumped on the bed and with all seriousness in those big brown eyes he said to me "I go to school....and I go to school..and I go to school..and now NO MORE.
I knew he was right and that was the last of nursery school for him, getting someone in to take care of him was really tough....I changed my schedule until I had things in hand as one disaster was enough for me, and my first try at a sitter was in fact a disaster.
My hope is that many of you out there will think long and hard, try to find alternative choices for those years when it is so important for little ones to be home with their family. Allow yourself the experience of long term thinking, see if you can visualise the years in front of you, being there for the school plays, picnics, football games...dinner at home every night with Mom and Dad together...that each busy day may hold at its end the chance for sharing, learning about each other and enjoying the ritual of dinner together....in the end it pays off for everyone...I can still visualise my three boys sitting down to dinner every night....hungry for a good meal and happy to be together talking about our day...there is plenty of time for the Internet, television and all the rest even work....but time not spent with your kids can never be replaced.
Gram
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)